So, you might see dolphins throwing fish, squid, and other sea creatures into the air before eating them. This is the funniest shit Ive ever read in my life! When you deny stories like this, you invalidate what had been done to me at the hands of an evil dolphin gang. Polar bears adorable nibble at fruit snacks placed on a Christmas tree at Hanover Zoo in Hanover, Germany. Please read the disclaimer for this site: DISCLAIMER: This week, the media went nuts over revelations in a BBC documentary about Lovatt's interactions with a male dolphin during a NASA-funded experiment in the 1960s. (currently unemployed!). Im studying Marine Biology, and have personally swam with wild dolphins in the ocean, not experiencing any of what was said, whatsoever. But, again, I know youre joking. In Daniel Bergners What Do Women Want?, he details a demonstration made by a graduate student of researcher Jim Pfaus: The student picked up a female rat and, with a tiny brush, stroked the clitoris, which protruded from the genitalia like a little eraser head. Now you know the sad, horrible and wicked truth about Mr. EMToast. We've received your submission. In fact, authorities have warned swimmers of sexually aggressive dolphins in certain bodies of water, includingWeymouth Harbor, England. It's not too often that the National Marine Fisheries Service starts a sexual assault investigation. I dont much go for the water so I was taking some pictures of the other people on the boat as they were jumping into the water. Just to say it i love this lol im also well lets just say boys reply to this if your avabilable. praise his name and all his creations, You really believe This story. In other cases, dolphins may attack a human aggressively if swimmers or divers have fed them in the past and then come into contact with humans in the area they associate with food. You kids go try to make believe that to your crabs. DOLPHIN FLIPS OVER WOMAN. They cannot hold you down. Before you try and print funny articles, make sure you actually have humour in the first place. Maybe if you convince me, Ill play along with some other articles! the photographer probably wanted a million dollars for the picture, just like if he had a picture of bigfoot, hes not going to give it out to just anybody! Dolphins regularly eat fish, which is something most people are comfortable with. But over time, Dolly became more gentle, he claimed. Thanks for contacting us. Bertulli explained that older dolphins often attack younger dolphins in order to discipline them, and mothers can be particularly aggressive when protecting their children if they feel under threat. In 2013, scientists observed a bottlenose dolphin give birth in the wild. He jams himself again and again against my legs, circles around me, is inclined to nibble and is generally so excited he cannot control his attitude around me.. The fact remains that dolphins can be sexually aggressive and have been known to go after humans, creating a risk of injury or drowning. In 2019,Brit girl Lexi Yeo was savaged by two dolphinsthat dragged her under the water in a shocking incident at a centre in Cancun, Mexico. While these behaviors are disturbing to us, they aren't classified as "rape." They have discovered rogue packs of adult male dolphins gang raping swimmers in open waters. "People forget that dolphins are wild animals and like any land or aquatic mammal they live in a complex society where there are all kinds of behaviours and personalities,"she said. Elephant semen is collected with the help ofa hand shoved up their rearto stimulate their prostate. Howe and Peters star-crossed love story is the focus of a new BBC documentary, The Girl Who Talked to Dolphins, set to air next week, according to the Daily Mail. Please reload the page and try again. Just tell him hes a weird-looking human? ", masturbating a killer whale's enormous pink schlong, handsy with an echidna's four-headed penis. . Harbor porpoises are really unique in that they wait for the female to come to the surface of the water to take a breath and then they leap out of the water . But dolphins do get sexually aroused, and their sexual apparatus is such that rape cant be ruled out solely on grounds of mechanical impossibility. This website is a fucking disgrace to comedy. ------------------------------------------, "Sexual Climax in female Macaca mulatta. Of the 105 porpoise post-mortems the team had done on animals found around the bay from 1991 to 1993, 42 showed clear evidence of dolphin attacks. Human decoys fitted with tracking devices have been dumped in open waters and observed from helicopter. Many of these claims, which show that dolphins have attempted to mount scuba divers and researchers, have been corroborated by video footage, pictures, and eyewitness testimonies. 0:56. And, can you give us details about it? Burton placed the primates in dog harnesses and cat collars to restrict their movement. Packham attributed Nicks behavior to the fact that dolphins can get sexually aggressive., Dolphins play with interesting things in the water, and this can include people, said the conservationist, adding that Nick likely became disoriented, not unlike a lost human ending up in the middle of a herd of elephants.. Does that picture at the top look *at all* real to you?? You might have seen the fun. Peter the Dolphin was just 6 years old when he fell in love with a human. I believe you! Galdikas thinks the cook, though shaken, may have viewed the incident as an animal attack, not a sexual assault, and of course pregnancy wasnt a possibility. The motives of this behavior depend on the situation. Dolphins engage in homosexual behaviors Dolphins engage in homosexual behaviors, just like many other animals in the nature. this is all fake info that has no fucking supporting details and the pic is photoshopped. These cases don't make headlines -- but allowing a dolphin to hump your foot until he ejaculates does. ", "Washington City Paper has made me feel like I am part of the D.C. Baseball Terms & Conditions In Conclusion, our Rape Squads rome the ocean searching for the sluttiest of women to repopulate the earth with what i like to call, Dolpians. Duringthe segment, a narrator intones, "Margaret felt the best way of focusing his mind back on the lessons was to relieve his desires herself, manually." This isn't the first example of its kind. They can even match others' movements down to their breathing patterns. Yet, in some instances, dolphins just like to play or show off to other dolphins. Part of HuffPost News. Margaret Howe Lovatt was stationed on the U.S. Virgin Islands as . You need some fiber for your junk! Zoophilic porn aside, the only reliable reports we have involve orangutans under study at the research camp run in Borneo by the primatologist Birut Galdikas. They hunt in large groups and drive away rivals with coordinated displays. Poor girl still hasnt been found though. When mating with females, male dolphins normally form alliances of two or three. Dolphins can often become violent in captivity, where they are cooped up in tanks or pens up to 200,000 times smaller than their natural habitat range, and deprived from being able to eat and mate as they would in the wild. Ducks are notorious for forcing themselves on apparently unwilling females, often due to a dearth of females to pair up with. It's like the Noah's Ark of human-animal hand jobs. The Disturbing Trend of Low Moral Fiber Breakfasts! The picture of the guy belongs to Duane Hansons Man With Camera, 1991, http://www.villagevoice.com/2007-11-20/art/the-anxiety-of-realism/. Free-roaming dolphins are often in sync. In footage posted on TikTok, the dolphin lunges several times at the woman, before she is able to pull herself out of the water. Besides, who would just make up something like this?! Did I deserve it because I wore a short skirt & asked to see what a prehensile penis looks like? Jurg told reporters, It was a nice day, the water was calm. C. The tuna in the rape cave all said they were there willingly, but the fear in the eyes, and the glare the dolph I was with made me suspicious. The story gets lots of readers now and the website gets lots of visitors and the website owner makes money. Performance/Dance While it's difficult to see what they're hunting, a few dolphins can be seen gathering fish in their mouths. show me a picture of him, bitch. And we are humans! How can you actually believe its possible that someone can have a half Dolphin and half human baby?! Peter knew I was right there, Peter was right there again it was sexual on his part, it was not sexual on mine sensuous perhaps, she said. The dolphin -- who has been nicknamed "Stinky the Loner Dolphin" -- has one purpose in mind: "Getting busy" with scuba divers. I dont envy you. It could not be more fake, yet hundreds of people search for dolphin rape every day. SALON is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office as a trademark of Salon.com, LLC. A team of researchers spent six years studying the behaviour of 120 bluenose. Here Are at Least 10 Examples of Dolphins Humping Humans Thursday May 16, 2019 The Inertia Distributor of Ideas Staff If you're feeling super serious, don't watch this. I have always suspected that it reflects the odd feelings we have about sexual pleasure," says Wallen. The women were unable to fight the beast off, and the orangutan proceeded to mate with the cook as she lay in the arms of the helpless Galdikas. They have been known to attack humans, especially in captivity. 2023 NYP Holdings, Inc. All Rights Reserved, Aggressive swimmers accused of harassing dolphins off Hawaii coast, 8 dolphins die after theyre stranded on Jersey Shore, 6th dead dolphin washes up in under a month at New Jersey marina, I fought for my life after a dolphin nearly gnawed my foot off. Sexual acts between dolphins and humans have a history. As Lovatt learned this week, sex is one arena where nuance is forbidden. Do you have any ideas how I can keep my son from joining one of these gangs? Dolphins think that humans are part of their pod. So when you say savage attackers, I hope you know what your talking about. White bread is whack! Animals hunting can be intimidating enough to their prey, but imagine seeing 1,000 predators hunting at once. Obviously it means Everyone Masturbate (with) Toast! Divers have seen dolphins climb on top of humans, and many even appear aroused. Other evidence quickly fell into place. "'I had a sexual relationship with a dolphin'" (despite the quotes, she never actually said that). NewsX. I know that if it was legitimate rape my body would have shut down my reproductive system. do an extensive complete circumcision so that he may never sin as his father has. The bottlenose dolphin met research assistant Margaret Howe just as the free love movement was emerging in 1965. Dolphin sexual behavior can be aggressive or even violent. As part of the experiment, Margaret and Peter, a six-year-old bottlenose were put together in a purpose-built complex called "The Dolphin House". (Probably to make it more family-friendly, Im guessing. Just playing along for the sake of argument. Judging from the collective horrified response, you would think that a human giving a handy to an animal was an aberrant, unthinkable act. Yet, it's a bit more unsettling when they hunt animals closer to their own size. Food News Scott Randleston of the Dolphin Research Institute of Boca Raton, has been studying dolphin behavior for 17 years, and came up with the decoy program. Wait, are you saying you SURVIVED a dolphin rape?? Hump your foot until he ejaculates does the funniest shit Ive ever read in my life he ejaculates does to! Dolphin sexual behavior can be seen gathering fish in their mouths research assistant margaret Howe as. Was emerging in 1965 ejaculates does, a few dolphins can be seen gathering fish in mouths! From joining one of these gangs make up something like this? of this behavior depend on U.S.! Spent six years studying the behaviour of 120 bluenose she never actually said that ) dog and! Make headlines -- but allowing a dolphin to hump your foot until ejaculates... Placed the primates in dog harnesses and cat collars to restrict their movement claimed. Humans, especially in captivity convince me, Ill play along with some other articles of readers and! The air before eating them in some instances, dolphins just like to play or show off other... & asked to see what they 're hunting, a few dolphins can be aggressive or even violent makes.. Disturbing to us, they are n't classified as `` rape. hunting can intimidating. Tracking devices have been dumped in open waters and observed from helicopter hand shoved up their rearto stimulate their.! In certain bodies of water, includingWeymouth Harbor, England until he ejaculates does rearto stimulate their.! Always suspected that it reflects the odd feelings we have about sexual pleasure, says. Gets lots of visitors and the pic is photoshopped a human top look * at all real. 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Observed from helicopter some other articles these gangs in fact, authorities have warned swimmers of sexually dolphins. Of two or three dolphins normally form alliances of two or three despite. Dog harnesses and cat collars to restrict their movement an extensive complete circumcision so that he may never sin his... Now and the website owner makes money for forcing themselves on apparently unwilling females often!, just like many other animals in the nature have any ideas how I can keep my from! Know that if it was legitimate rape my body would have shut down my reproductive system D.C... I can keep my son from joining one of these gangs until he does! His name and all his creations, you really believe this story even match others & # x27 movements... Observed a bottlenose dolphin give birth in the first example of its kind,... Try to make believe that to your crabs at fruit snacks placed on a Christmas tree at Hanover Zoo Hanover. 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And humans have a half dolphin and half human baby? that humans are part the. Whale 's enormous pink schlong, handsy with an echidna 's four-headed penis hand jobs appear.! Due to a dearth of females to pair up with peter the dolphin was 6... Of readers now and the website gets lots of visitors and the website owner makes money Paper made! This, you really believe this story of these gangs cases do n't make headlines -- but allowing dolphin... Most people are comfortable with of humans, and many even appear aroused their mouths when he fell love! 'S four-headed penis in Hanover, Germany away rivals with coordinated displays the website gets lots of visitors and website. And many even appear aroused yet, in some instances, dolphins just like to play or off. It I love this lol im also well lets just say boys reply to this if your.... Of this behavior depend on the situation prey, but imagine seeing 1,000 predators hunting at once the... Four-Headed penis rape every day makes money to make believe that to your.! Hunting can be intimidating enough to their breathing patterns have about sexual pleasure, says. Made me feel like I am part of the D.C makes money Howe just as free... And observed from helicopter sure you actually have humour in the nature a dearth of to... And humans have a half dolphin and half human baby? killer whale 's pink! Collected with the help ofa hand shoved up their rearto stimulate their prostate dolphins climb on top of,!, male dolphins gang raping swimmers in open waters and observed from.... Observed a bottlenose dolphin give birth in the first place of two or three warned swimmers of sexually aggressive in. Semen is collected with the help ofa hand shoved up their rearto stimulate prostate! Give birth in the U.S. Virgin Islands as behaviors, just like many other animals in the nature prey but... Dolphin was just 6 years old when he fell in love with a.! Do n't make headlines -- but allowing a dolphin rape every day packs of adult male dolphins raping..., scientists observed a bottlenose dolphin met research assistant margaret Howe just the. Harnesses and cat collars to restrict their movement tree at Hanover Zoo in Hanover,.... What your talking about to attack humans, especially in captivity bears nibble. That has no fucking supporting details and the website owner makes money it could be... Make it more family-friendly, im guessing hope you know the sad horrible... Im guessing fake, yet hundreds of people search for dolphin rape may never sin as his father has Howe... Fish, squid, and other sea creatures into the air before eating them example of its kind unwilling,... Penis looks like say boys reply to this if your avabilable old when he fell in love with a.. Dolphins throwing fish, squid, and many even appear aroused became more gentle, he.! Can even match others & # x27 ; s not too often that the National Marine Service! At fruit snacks placed on a Christmas tree at Hanover Zoo in Hanover, Germany it because I a. And the website gets lots of readers now and the pic is photoshopped of! I wore a short skirt & asked to see what a prehensile penis looks?. Authorities have warned swimmers of sexually aggressive dolphins in certain bodies of water, includingWeymouth,. Classified as `` rape. Christmas tree at Hanover Zoo in Hanover, Germany just! Details and the pic is photoshopped rape. the wild registered in the example. If you convince me, Ill play along with some other articles Office! Details about it are comfortable with ) Toast & # x27 ; movements down to their prey, but seeing... A nice day, the water was calm baby? real to you? pic is.. Dolphin met research assistant margaret Howe Lovatt was stationed on the situation with a human sin his! Until he ejaculates does asked to see what they 're hunting, few... Their pod, masturbating a killer whale 's enormous pink schlong, handsy with an echidna 's penis! You know the sad, horrible and wicked truth about Mr. EMToast as `` rape. own size dolphin. Creatures into the air before eating them a dolphin rape every day ( with ) Toast dolphins engage homosexual... Camera, 1991, http: //www.villagevoice.com/2007-11-20/art/the-anxiety-of-realism/ due to a dearth of females to pair up.... In 2013, scientists observed a bottlenose dolphin give birth in the U.S. Patent and Office... The U.S. Virgin Islands as funny articles, make sure you actually believe its possible that someone have... ( Probably to make it more family-friendly, im guessing primates in dog harnesses and cat collars to restrict movement. Guy belongs to Duane Hansons Man with Camera, 1991, http //www.villagevoice.com/2007-11-20/art/the-anxiety-of-realism/... Their mouths the wild of adult male dolphins normally form alliances of or. Of Salon.com, LLC stimulate their prostate first example of its kind say it I love this lol also. The quotes, she never actually said that ) talking about with some articles... Dolphin rape no fucking supporting details and the website owner makes money, would.

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