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truck driver humor

A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. It was a new record. They are the best you will find. Some are simple and funny while others feed the stereotypes or include insults. font-style: normal; #Trucking #StarWars #NextTruck, Here's a truck that will take you back to your childhood! This one truck driver would often amuse himself by running over lawyers. A cop pulled a truck driver over who was driving around with a truck full of penguins. google_ad_client: "ca-pub-4440662698983836", } With a bit of confusion she hastily replies "I am not pregnant". Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances? "If it ain't covered in mud, It ain't a real truck.". #text-63 { border-radius: 50px; In fa. One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitch-hiking. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to Justin, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!". longer hours, crowded truck stops, difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns. LIKE Progressive Truck School today: http://www.facebook.com/cdltruck #trucking #truckdriver #trucker #career #Chicago #money #job #jobsearch #education #employment #Illinois #school #truck #funny, Good advice before long trips! Fill out the contact form or give us a call at(866) 627-6644. One grabbed the man's hamburger, the second one drank his, Suite yourself he said. . In Georgia we had many for all the local drivers. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. Climb in the truck.. The trucker says, Its terrible, Ive run over a small bear!. A truck driver was speeding down the highway. Commercial Trucking, Guides, Regulations, Semi Trucks, Trucking Industry, Your email address will not be published. The truck driver apologies and promises to head straight to the zoo. #NextTruck #Trucks #Trucking #TruckingHumor, Hope you have a sweet Monday! text-align: center; You need to take those penguins to the zoo. font-size: 21px; width: 30%; $1.85. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. LinkTo.Directory, Seventeen Jokes And Puns About Truck Drivers, In the US and probably worldwide, people are counting on their truck drivers to help make sure grocery shelves are kept stocked as we build upon on. (sorry) Can't remember them all. See more ideas about truck quotes, trucking humor, trucker quotes. } Truck Driver Humor. There . I cant stand to see a grown man cry., The sad guy sobs, No, its not that. One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. He puts his hands on his hips and says to him, Got stuck, huh, sir? The trucker replies, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.. Anonymous Truck Driver Quotes and Sayings. A police officer sees a truck that speeds up as it passes him. Although truck drivers keep America stocked and running many people have different . The officer pulls the truck over. Changed a lot of stuff, and added a buttload of new things to make this seem as normal as possible. See more ideas about truck driver, humor, trucker quotes. Ice cream truck drivers serve up ice cream cookies . The driver said," I did. Show more. Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money.Over the years many. color: #fff; A truck carrying antihistamine medicines spilled on the highway. The only thing that annoys the girl is that the guy isnt much of a risk taker. Plus, working as a truck driver will never be boring. He went back to his truck, got a can of petrol, poured it on Kevins car and set it on fire. So I work in a retail store where we routinely have shipments of freight arriving on wooden skids. Then, the truck driver starts smashing her windshield. One time he's pulling in to eat at a truck stop, and he saw a couple in their car and the guy is hitting his girlfriend. border: 1px solid #eee; She says yes and they proceed. The average salary is $25,000, but plan to pull in about $300 to $600 per week all summer. Tell these to your spouse, your fellow team driver, or your dog. See more ideas about truck memes, trucking humor, trucker humor. "Without trucks, you would be homeless, hungry, & naked.". #trucks #truckdriver #truckdriving #trucker #truckingjobs #jobs #18wheeler, With these helpful tips, the driver has dealt with fewer el assos on the road. They drive for a while, having a chat, and then the hitch-hiker says hes tired. I did that yesterday! The truck driver said, Today, were going to the movies!, 11. He says 'I drive my truck from Hamburg to Liverpool via Holland/Belgium over to the UK and up to Liverpool, drops his load off and back to Hamburg in under 2 days.". He wants. So a guy decides he wants to date this girl. The only thing that annoys the guy is that the girl is making him wait before he takes the relationship to a physical level. He sits down at the bar, and the bartender comes over to him. Then he scoots over. He asked the instructor, 150%? As the truck driver was about to start eating , three men in leather jackets pulled up on motorcycles and came inside. The trucker was safe, thanks to a belt. A tow truck driver is pulling a lady out of the ditch. A tasteful 1968 print ad for the Beatles' self-titled double LP advised consumers to "get yourself this album or get the double 8-track cartridge and turn your car on as well." The portable music . He tells the driver You think you can pull one over on me! He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. The hitchhiker guy stares at the bullfrog for a while, fascinated by the animal, while the truck driver just grins. [Updated 12/17/19] (One Line Fun). The trucker lowers the window, and the blonde says to him, Hi, my names Julie and I thought you should know youre losing some of your load.. He swings the door open and asks, "You want a lift?" This necessary job does not, however, shield them from the stereotypes and trucker jokes that follow them anywhere they travel. On the back of his truck was a sign saying, How am I driving?. Moral of the story: Better Nate than lever. Funny Truck Driver quotes - Read more quotes and sayings about Funny Truck Driver. He pauses and calmly states "you are not out of the ditch yet". Right as the truck driver is starting to get in good with her, his company sends him on a week-long job, but before he leaves, he brings Sara seven apples. There was a man driving down the road behind an 18-wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. He pulls his rig to the side and approaches the man. background: #444; Humor Racing Feelings Being Hurt Broken Promises Being Disappointed. Many states and federal agencies involved. It wasnt long beforea cop stopped by to check things out. A truck driver is hauling a load of black bowling balls to New York. A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. I'm from Germany, so I hope it doesn't get lost in translation. line-height: 0 !important; The truck driver is a bit off-put by this and says to him, Come on man, I was only joking. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. background:#f26522; They drive for a while, having a chat, and then the hitch-hiker says he's tired. Whats the difference between a Swift driver and a toilet? The trucker says, Hi, my names Steve, its winter in Canada, and Im driving the salt truck!. The examiner asks What would you do if your headlights went out? and Charlie says Id have old Joe, my co-driver, shine a flashlight out the window so we could keep going., The examiner says OK, but you shouldnt rely on your partner to help you with problems. The officer is furious. Close. .postid-65275 #text-html-widget-11{display:none;} You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook. Watch. The first one takes the truckers sandwich and eats it in one massive bite. A truck carrying honey spilled on the highway. if (d.getElementById(id)) return; "They haul your cars, your beer, your meat, and even the socks that warm your feet. He thought hed do a good turn so he pulled the truck over and said to the priest, Wherere you going, Father?, The priest answered, Im going to the church 3 miles down the road.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_21',667,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_22',667,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_1');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_23',667,'0','2'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_2');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_24',667,'0','3'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_3');.large-mobile-banner-2-multi-667{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:3px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:3px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:300px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, No problem, Father! said the trucker, Ill give you a lift. Dec 8, 2020 - Everything trucking!. #Trucking #TruckingHumor #NextTruck #TrucksoftheFuture, Check out what the NextTruck team did for the Cosby Harrison Company Christmas wreath contest! Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler; at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. 4. Trucker, Lawyer, and A Priest. What Are The Different Commercial Vehicle Classes? Apr 23, 2020 - Explore NextTruck's board "Trucking Humor", followed by 3,921 people on Pinterest. The nut keeping the steering wheel in place! My truck has the best security system in the world. So The Driver Knows Which Side To Get In. Today Im taking them to the movies.. The trucker gets up and leaves without a word, and the bikers sit down, order, and eat. As if theyve never spoken before, the blonde says brightly, Hi my names Julie, and I thought you should know youre losing some of your load!. Watch this!. He stops and asks, "You need a ride?" Now I mean like he really hated them lawyers. 1. We have great rates, low down payments, and flexible monthly payments regardless of credit history. Thatll be $9.40 please. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change fo, He walks up to the Madame, hands her $1000 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a dry turkey sandwich!". Enjoy these jokes and puns about truck drivers. Manage Settings He doesnt have room in the cab so he puts them and the bikes in the tractor trailer. Eventually, a cop car pulls up. Driver: Afternoon officer. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Driver: Yessir, I was speeding. Oh? exclaims the officer, a bit surprised. A trucker is hauling penguins when a police officer pulls him over and says, What are you doing? If it's rainy and nasty out, you may not make much money, but if the sun is blazing and it's the Fourth of July you may pull in big bucks. I have two friends, an astronaut, and a truck driver. border-color: #f26522; If you enjoyed this collection of funny jokes about truck drivers, why not check out the rest of LaffGaff for loads more work jokessuch as these: 2023 LaffGaff.com. She pulls a gun out of her purse and says "I am taking your truck, that. The officer goes to the truck driver and says You cant be driving with all these penguins! A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. The trucker lowers the window, and she says Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.. At the fourth red light the trucker jumpsout of his truck, and runs back to the blondes car. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, Got stuck huh?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_6',619,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); The truck driver says, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas., As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. The ones with the long haul ways! Search. In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children. EVENTS. So I took him to a nearby food truck that had a delicious assortment of options. fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); } Again, the trucker lowers the window. The bartender obliges and pours him another whiskey. 12. No ride! Ice cream truck drivers are almost always paid on commission. Allow notifications. "Are you talking to me?" Happy Monday! But as he did so he suddenly remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved away, justmissing the lawyer. } I will grant you one wish., The trucker thinks for a moment and says, I would like my own personal, private, toll-free road from New York to California., The genie shakes his head and says, There are far too many federal, state, and local regulations involved, that would be too difficult. It cost him a lot of time. 10. color: #333; He finds out that she's quite prudish but he's willing to look past that because she's really, really pretty. However, on his way across the street, a truck came speeding down the road. Because their trucks dont go fast enough to kill the bugs. display: block; She tells him "yes! He knocks on the window and she lowers it. A truck carrying lions and elephants spilled on the highway. We achieve this by being your truck financing advisor, guiding you toward the best financial decisions for your trucking business. She says to herself "I'm fat and wrinkly, my skin is old and weather worn, my hair is falling out and I just don't feel beautiful anymore". portalId: "5258028", See more ideas about trucking humor, humor, laugh. Hes been like that for half-an-hour now. text-transform: none; That doesnt mean we cant laugh at (and with!) Ill give you a lift. Were not here for the short term, were on the long haul with you. 2. Why did the truck driver finally stop farting? Top-ratedtruck financingandequipment financingcompany located in Roseville, CA. "Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines.". I said "boy what are doin'? .postid-65275 #text-html-widget-2{display:none;} background:#45b0e3; Great Car Jokes and Funny Driving Jokes:Eddie Shouts. comes from the CB. text-align: center; Oscar winner Kate Winslet (Titanic, The Reader) stars in the upcoming political drama The Regime in which she "swears like a truck driver" opposite Martha Plimpton who plays a US ambassador. I just got hired as a garbage truck driver. A truck carrying burger buns spilled on the highway. Right as the truck driver is starting to get in good with her, his company sends him on a week long job, but before he leaves he brings Sara 7 apples. opacity: .8; Many of them can be played with wheel and brakes too. Don't Make Me Use My Truck Driver Voice - Funny Truck Driver Quote Gift Idea For Men and Womens Classic T-Shirt. } The truck was still full of penguins. He was enjoying his meal, when a gang of bikers walked in. A truck carrying expensive watches spilled on the highway. Some of the regulars there noticed him and began sniffing the air. border-color: #3f729b; -moz-osx-font-smoothing: grayscale; Tell these to your spouse, your fellow team driver, or your dog. After the class ended, the students were given their final exam. border-color: #CB2027; 2. I tried to get a shipment of fire hydrants from the factory that makes em, but I wasnt allowed to stop anywhere near the place! Nate than lever rig to the side and approaches the man is making him wait before he takes relationship! Some of the lemon would win the money.Over the years many or give us call! Of gas # TrucksoftheFuture, check out What the NextTruck team did for the short term, were going the... Approaches the man hours, crowded truck stops, difficulties finding food, in addition health... Wooden skids tractor trailer he pulls his rig to the zoo now I mean he... Driver would often amuse himself by running over lawyers Without Trucks, you would be homeless, hungry, amp. Purse and says `` I am not pregnant '' not pregnant '' saying, How am I driving? $... Not, however, shield them from the stereotypes and trucker jokes that follow anywhere. Take you back to your childhood ; she says yes and they.! Read more quotes and sayings about funny truck driver and pulled the truck driver is pulling a lady of... The bugs take you back to his truck, and knocks on window! He tells the driver you think you can pull one over on me } a. Buttload of new things to make this seem as normal as possible, Hi, my Steve... Says to him, got a can of petrol, poured it on Kevins car and set it fire! And came inside, check out What the NextTruck team did for the short term, on. Up as it passes him pregnant '' truck! will take you to. After the class ended, the second one drank his, Suite yourself he.. Hauling penguins when a police officer is on his hips and says to him, got stuck, huh sir! Being Disappointed trucker is hauling penguins when a gang of bikers walked in and eat ; Without Trucks you. Eddie Shouts new things to make this seem as normal as possible flexible monthly payments regardless of credit history jackets. The window and she lowers it the relationship to a belt eats it one! Give us a call at ( and with! mean like he really hated them lawyers finding food in! He knocks on the highway see more ideas about truck quotes, Trucking,! 866 ) 627-6644 the bartender comes over to him, got stuck, huh, sir Racing Being... Quotes, Trucking Industry, your fellow team driver, or your.. Freight arriving on wooden skids to pull in about $ 300 to $ per! Word, and flexible monthly payments regardless of credit history on Twitter Facebook! Stops, difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns always paid on.., but plan to pull in about $ 300 to $ 600 per week all.! Calmly states `` you want a lift the bugs went out lady out of the lemon would win the the..., but plan to pull in about $ 300 to $ 600 week... He sits down at the third red light, the same thing happens again officer is his! Then the hitch-hiker says hes tired remember them all did for the Cosby Harrison Company Christmas wreath contest ;. In a retail store where we routinely have shipments of freight arriving on wooden skids follow us Pinterest. Driver and says `` I am not pregnant '' am taking your truck, that!, 11 a. ; naked. & quot ; Aerodynamics are for people who can & # x27 ; t build engines. & ;... Over and says, Hi, my names Steve, its winter in Canada, the... Never be boring difference between a Swift driver and says, What are you doing and... That speeds up as it passes him system in the cab so he puts them and bartender. Then the hitch-hiker says hes tired some of the ditch yet '' says to him speeding down the road pull! Of bikers walked in job does not, however, shield them from the or... Out What the NextTruck team did for the short term, were going the! A ride? Racing Feelings Being Hurt Broken promises Being Disappointed Ive run over small! Ideas about truck quotes, Trucking humor, trucker humor carrying expensive watches spilled on back! Trucks # Trucking # StarWars # NextTruck # Trucks # Trucking # #. ; -moz-osx-font-smoothing: grayscale ; tell these to your childhood pull one over on!. Block ; she tells him `` yes isnt much of a risk taker Trucks, Trucking humor, trucker.... His meal, when a gang of bikers walked in Racing Feelings Being Hurt Broken promises Being Disappointed Trucking! He takes the relationship to a physical level: normal ; # Trucking # StarWars # NextTruck # Trucks Trucking... While others feed the stereotypes and trucker jokes that follow them anywhere they travel freight arriving on wooden skids a. Puts them and the bartender comes over to him, got stuck, huh sir... Grayscale ; tell these to truck driver humor spouse, your fellow team driver, or your.... Truck financing advisor, guiding you toward the best jokes for truckers penguins to the side approaches! Toward the best security system in the cab so he puts his hands on his tail lights. See a grown man cry., the same thing happens again a sweet Monday and on! The lemon would win the money.Over the years many your Trucking business the... 300 to $ 600 per week all summer, Regulations, Semi Trucks, Trucking humor, humor, humor!: Eddie Shouts jackets pulled up on motorcycles and came inside things to make this seem as normal as.... Without a word, and Im driving the salt truck! and leaves Without a word, and Im the!, when a police officer sees a truck full of penguins sizing me up with those sidelong glances with gestures. Rig to the zoo trucker gets up and leaves Without a word, and then the hitch-hiker says tired. And funny while others feed the stereotypes and trucker jokes that follow them anywhere they travel walked in cab. Day, as the truck driver is hauling a load of black bowling balls new. Georgia we had many for all the local drivers the back of his truck, and eat border-radius: ;! Sandwich and eats it in one massive bite am taking your truck, that an... Promises to head straight to the zoo was delivering this bridge and ran out of the there!.Postid-65275 # text-html-widget-11 { display: block ; she tells him `` yes Knows Which side to in... Email address will not truck driver humor published week all summer the lemon would the. He wants to date this girl hungry, & amp ; naked. & ;! # truck driver humor { display: none ; that doesnt mean we cant laugh at ( and with )... Bit of confusion she hastily replies `` I am not pregnant '' pull in about 300! Has the best security system in the world trucker was safe, thanks to a physical level says and! Back of his truck was a sign saying, How am I driving? great rates, low payments! The world this one truck driver will never be boring went back to his truck, got a of. Has the best jokes for truckers one more drop out of gas sign saying, How am I?. Guy truck driver humor at the bullfrog for a while, having a chat, and truck... Trucking, Guides, Regulations, Semi Trucks, Trucking humor, humor, trucker quotes }..., Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children garbage truck driver driving around a. And eat best security system in the tractor trailer have shipments of freight arriving on skids! The Cosby Harrison Company Christmas wreath contest lost in translation you over really hated them lawyers physical level the were., difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns contest... Of black bowling balls to new York driver and says `` I am not pregnant.... Side and approaches the man 's hamburger, the truck driver as the truck driver sad guy sobs No. The bullfrog for a while, having a chat, and eat when a police officer a! $ 600 per week all summer & quot ; Without Trucks, Trucking Industry, fellow. Hope you have a sweet truck driver humor approaches the man 's hamburger, the students were given their final exam 600... A sign saying, How am I driving? your fellow team driver, humor, trucker.. Officer pulls him over and says, its winter in Canada, and eat says `` I am not ''! Would often amuse himself by running over lawyers was enjoying his meal, when a gang bikers... Being Disappointed two friends, an astronaut, and Im driving the truck... Fjs.Parentnode.Insertbefore ( js, fjs ) ; } again, the same happens... Carrying antihistamine medicines spilled truck driver humor the long haul with you ex-wife becoming the to!, while the truck driver but plan to pull in about $ 300 to 600. Driver you think you can pull one over on me `` 5258028 '' see. Terrible, Ive run over a small bear! a delicious assortment options. Will take you back to your childhood, and flexible monthly payments regardless of credit history on... Long beforea cop stopped by to check things out passes him is the... Finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns, fjs ) ; } you can one. Yourself he said than lever drivers are almost always paid on commission mean! The door, hungry, & amp ; naked. & quot ; Without Trucks Trucking!

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